Amy's Favorite Things

It's Amy and the Big O.  Not THAT Big O, fellas, that's for my other blog.  It's Amy VERSUS The BIG OPRAH!  Oprah had her "Favorite Things" episode on Friday.  For some reason, I felt like crying while watching it.  I don't know why, seeing that I was not eligible to receive any of the fine, expensive, wonderful gifts that she gave away.  The gifts that she should have given to me. But alas, I should consider myself lucky.  After all, I own so many things that are REEEEEALLY close to the items that she gave away.  See for yourself.  I think you will agree with me. 

OPRAH - Fancy Hair Products: $65.00



AMY - Knockoff Humectress:  $.99 a bottle if you have a coupon:

OPRAH - Cashmere sweater by Ralph Lauren made exclusively for Oprah.  He put a big "O" on the tag:  $498.00

AMY - Ugly, fuzzy, warm, unknown fabric pullover:  $Who knows how much it cost?  I don't remember when I got it.  Gap made this for lots of people but I'm going to put an "A" on the tag with a Sharpie. 

OPRAH - Scented Candles:  $55.00 each

AMY - My favorite candle is the one that I made in third grade:  $INFINITY because I made it.  I'm not allowed to burn it, though, because my Mom said so.

So I resort to this relaxing candle when I need to wind down a bit.  I find that the aroma of burning aluminum really soothes me for the 10 minutes that it lasts:  $2.99 per gross.

OPRAH:  Work out pants:  $98.00

AMY - Ain't now way, now how, does OPRAH wear these pants and neither will I.  I have two words for these pants:  CAMEL. TOE!


OPRAH - Panini Press:  $99.95

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Complete with "Love Sandwich" recipe, for the sandwich that "SHE" makes for Stedman.  Riiiiiight.

AMY - THE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL:  $How did I obtain this wonderful item?

And here is my love recipe:

1.  Get off your ass
2.  Make it yourself!
3.  Enjoy!


OPRAH - "Everyone needs a good knife in the kitchen."  Shut up, Oprah.  You know you haven't picked up a knife in years.  $75.00

Amy - "Oprah's knives look like weapons I could use on my dog.  I am only allowed to use this":  $Useless...I'll need Oprah's to get the job done.

OPRAH - Because you are all so unorganized, The Container Store will re-do your closet for you! $1000.00

Amy - I'm not sure that $1000.00 would even START to tackle this mess:

Thankfully, I have my own personal organizer...I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CONTAINER STORE!  But if you are reading this Oprah or Container Store, than yes!  I do need help....PLEASE! 
$FREE, cause she has to do what I say! 

OPRAH - Mac And Cheese: $29.00...seriously!

AMY - I'm ALL FOR comfort food, but $29.00 for Mac and Cheese?  I'd better be good and hung over to pay that for some noodles smothered in cheese. WHERE CAN I GET THAT?   Otherwise, I'll settle for this:  $1.79 on a good day at Kroger.

And last, but certainly not least:

OPRAH - A seven day cruise in the Caribbean.  $More than I can afford.

AMY - A lifetime of this.  $Priceless.  I'll take this over anything:  (Except for the one on the far left!)

And as a bonus, I get this:

And this:

Oprah ain't got nothin' on me!