Bring your daughter to work day

Yesterday, I took Elise to work with me.   I had not planned on taking her.   Not at all.  But seeing that she booted at her friend's swim meet the night before, her friend's mom didn't want her to spend the night with her daughter, as planned.   The nerve of some parents these days; inconveniencing me for the welfare of their own children! 

I knew it was going to be a really long day when, at 9:30, Elise asked me if it was lunch time yet. 

We brought the entire house , pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, a portable DVD player and enough movies to last an entire weekend.  She also brought her Nintendo DS, which I'm quite sure had collected cobwebs as old as those on my size six jeans.  She set up her station under my desk and threw in a "Hannah Montana" DVD. I worked diligently.  15 minutes later, the DVD player died.  And the charger was at home.  Kids!  You just can't rely on them to pack efficiently!

She didn't want to play with her DS.  She didn't want to play on the computer in the cubicle RIGHT ACROSS FROM MY OFFICE so she proceeded to label the items in my office:  "Amy's Office", "Amy's Desk",  "Amy's Chairs", "Amy's Picture", and "Amy Connaughton" on the wall behind me.  You know, in case someone didn't know who was sitting in the chair at Amy's desk. 

Finally, it was time for Burger King to switch over to lunch time and shortly thereafter, nap time:

Yep!  She is in there somewhere.  Didn't matter to me, though.  She was quiet.  I could finally work!

After her beauty rest, it was time for a refreshing beverage of Sprite.  She needed ice cubes.  So we headed to the kitchen and I broke out what was, apparently, THE BEST THING EVER! 

Behold!  ICE CUBE TRAYS!

She couldn't believe that ice cubes were made this way!  After all, at home, they magically appear from here:

You know, Elise, when I was young, I had to empty ice trays all day long.  Up and down a hill.  Both ways.

Later, she discovered the TYPEWRITER!  AND IT WAS THE MOST AWESOME CONTRAPTION THAT SHE HAD EVER SEEN!  Forget that DS that was rotting underneath my desk or the two computers that are in her playroom or the netbook that she uses while watching a tv show that she downloaded from a website!

I had a hard time prying her away from the typewriter.  And now I know what I'll be moving into my office the next time she comes to work with me!  And I certainly won't have her pack her DS!

All in all, my "Bring my daughter to work day" revealed a couple of things to me.

1.   I have no patience.

2.  Kids in this generation will never understand advances in technology the way that kids in my generation did.  Never, ever.

The Toof Fairy Came!

Corn on the cob is a wonderful thing.  For it caused Elise to lose a tooth.

I know it sounds strange that I'm excited about my child losing a tooth.  Most regular parents are probably sentimental about this crap, saying, "I can't believe my little boy lost another tooth....he's growing up too quickly!"  Or maybe some bad parents like me parents say, "Shit!  I don't have any cash...do you?!"  Or, I'm sure some parents even say, "Shit, we can't afford the tooth fairy to come!  I was going to use the cash I have for crack gas tomorrow!"

Lately, though, I've had the money that I spend on orthodontics on my mind!  We just found out that Katie may have to have two teeth extracted.  Two teeth that haven't even grown in yet.  Two teeth that are, for the most part, growing in sideways in her gums.  Had her baby teeth fallen out, we wouldn't be dealing with this.  But NOOOOO!  I have to have kids that keep their baby teeth until they head off to vocational school college. 

So, thank you, Elise, for biting into that corn.  And for further loosening that tooth while carrying around my compact all night.  May all your teefs fall out swiftly so I can afford to buy crack gas and send you to vocational school college!

Also, thank you for NOT finding the $7.00 that I left you under the pillow on the right side of your bed since Katie and Tim left you $5.00 under the pillow on the left side of your bed, which you did find.  You almost saved me money, but you found the $7.00 on my bathroom counter this morning (that I claimed I "found in my pants pocket!") and I let you keep it because I was a sucker nice.  Don't get all cocky, thinking that you netted $12.00 from the tooth fairy.  Because, unbeknownest to you, you really only made $10.00 because Katie and Tim used two of their toof fairy dollars from your OWN WALLET!  Crack Moms - you ain't got nothin' on me!

And thank you for being a goof ball like your Mommy Daddy!

♪♪ These Are A Two Of My Fav-or-ite Things ♪♪

I have two new fav-or-ite things in my life right now.

Number One - The Furminator:

Pardon the picture quality.  It was darn hard to take pictures of a dog, a seven year old, an elderly person a guy in a wheelchair with a leash wrapped around it and a sharp tool.  Rael LOVES the Furminator!  And I think I'm in love too.  Look at all the hair that will not be in my house:

My next favorite thing is Rael's new dog bed.

Elise loves it too.  Because it is summer time, I suppose she and Rael can sleep on it downstairs.  But once school starts, she's back in our her bed.

These new fav-or-ite things are in our house because we purchased new family room furniture! 

I think it's about time, don't you?

I know what you're thinking.  "Why get new furniture when you have perfectly good furniture already?"  We are selfish, people, and we buy new furniture every quarter of a century.  Don't hate.

Fashion Friday

No, I am not starting a recurring post regarding fashion.  I think most of you that know me, know that posts about fashion would contain pictures of a black top with a khaki bottom; my uniform, if you will.

Alas, I am posting a picture of what I would dare to wear.  Something that speaks words, without actually speaking.  Something that screams, " I AM WOMAN!"   Or is it, "I LOVE TUPOC SHAKUR" (Google is great - I would have NEVER spelled his name correctly!)  I'm not really sure what this speaks but DAMN, SHE'S HOT AND SHE KNOWS IT!

The story behind this picture is almost better than the picture itself:

Tim, Katie and I ventured out on a small job that Tim had this evening.  Yes, he was able to WORK despite having two pins protruding from his foot.  On the way to the job, we passed a section of Marietta that appeared to be "The Hood" or "The Ghetto", as Katie affectionately referred to it.  That's my girl!

Tim and I saw this woman strolling down the street wearing a shirt with a picture of a person that we couldn't immediately recognize, but nonetheless, found amusing.  So amusing, in fact, that we almost turned around so Katie could laugh along with us.  I wanted a picture of this woman so I could share it with all of my faithful blog readers and Tim and Katie knew this.  But we composed ourselves, and headed towards the job, just minutes ahead.

After the job, we joked about seeing the woman with the infamous shirt and lo and behold, there she was.  At the corner of a major intersection, in the midst of crossing the street.  We had to make a decision and make a decision fast.  Was she going to head left, or go straight?  Tim made the right call, knowing that she probably was heading "straight, toward the action."  And damn it if he wasn't right.  We swiftly pulled into the parking lot just past where she was crossing and Katie, my paparazzi photog, got the shot.  I must give props to Katie for zooming in on her phone because the picture that I took, while trying to make it look like I was simply looking at my phone, was crap.

After we sped away, fist pumped each other on our successful.....ummmm....I don't know.....berating of another human being, I said that that woman was probably saying, "Damn, What the hell are them there crackers doin' takin' a picture of me?"

Sadly, Katie didn't ask me what a cracker was.